Gay Marriage, A Response (Edited from a response to another blog)

As a gay Tar Heel, I can understand some of the concerns about the use of the term "gay marriage", but that is not really the issue. The issue is that there are over 1130 rights conveyed automatically to married couples that are, by default, denied to gay couples by the banning of "marriage" or "civil unions". If you read the laws that are being proposed by those who oppose GLBT marriage, you will find that they also exclude "any rights and benefits conveyed therein" and often exclude the substitution of the term "civil unions". It is an attempt to create a second-class citizenship status for gay people, not an issue of marriage alone. For this reason alone, the bills that have been proposed in North Carolina should be dropped.

Among the rights denied are inheritance, immigration, and hospital visitation. Could you imagine being in relationship with someone for 30 years and that their family didn't like you? What if they could step in when he or she is in the hospital and prevent you from going to see him/her before he/she dies? That is what is happening to gay and lesbian citizens in this country. These rights are what I consider basic rights as citizens of the free world. Could you imagine being sent to another country by your company and not being able to take your husband or wife? What if you spent 30 years building a life together and when she or he dies, all of the belongings automatically go to the state because you are not considered legally worthy of inheriting the life you built together?

I know that some see homosexuality as a sin just like murder, thievery and other crimes. I honestly do not know how to argue against that. I know who I am and that being gay is not a matter of choice. If I could have been straight and true to myself and to my God, perhaps I would have been. God knows when we are one thing and try to lie to hide it. I believe God created me as I am for a reason, although I don't have any idea what that reason is. I think God is much more concerned THAT we love than about WHOM and HOW we love. Besides, "Thou shalt not bear false witness." made the top ten of sins, and homosexuality didn't. By trying to hide who I am as a gay man, I would be bearing false witness against myself, society and God.

Lastly, I often hear the argument that giving GLBT people their rights as full citizens of the United States might take away something from the rest of us. How does that work? How would my having my rights affect anyone else's life other than to make them more free to live to their fullest potential too? I would never walk into a church and demand that the preacher there marry me in it. Is that the fear? Are there other fears that I am not seeing? Why am I, as a gay man, so frightening to so many Americans? May I simply ask you to look at yourself and think of what it is like to be different and to want to belong? Is it possible to look past our differences and see how we are similar?

Categories: politics LGBTQ gay+marriage civil+rights