How Ron Makes Peach Jam
Step 1: Plant trees and wait about 3 years for them to mature.
Step 2: Do the happy dance when the trees bloom.
Step 3: Wait months for the peaches to mature, then pick them, immerse them in a boiling water bath, peel and pit them and chop them into tiny chunks of peach.
Step 4: Add juice of 1 lemon, 1 Tablespoon of butter and a package of pectin, then bring to a slow rolling boil over high heat while stirring constantly for an eternity.
Step 5: Check on the boiling jars and rings that you put on before step 4. It should probably be step 3 or 4, but I am too tired from stirring to edit this now.
Step 6: After the peaches, lemon juice and butter come to a slow rolling boil (try saying that quickly 5 times), add a crapload of sugar and bring it back to a slow, rolling boil.
Step 7: Boil for exactly 60 seconds more. Skim off the foam, and put the peach jam into jars. Slap on lids and rings and invert them for 5 minutes.
Step 8: Show off, then share or eat the gold.
Categories: photography gardening peach canning humor