Leaf Mandala

It has been one of those days when it is all I can do to stay awake. This is particularly frustrating because I had a decent night of sleep last night, even having gone to bed early for me. I slept about 10 hours overnight, then had to head back to bed for a couple of hours this afternoon. This is one of the worst aspects of my illness for me.

Perhaps it has to do with my having cleaned the yard yesterday of fallen leaves. I tried at first to blow them into my flower beds with my leaf-blower, but they were too firmly stuck among the blades of grass for that action to be efficient. Instead, I let the blower push the leaves away from the margins of the yard, and then I brought in my lawn mower with the catcher bag attached. At the end of the three hours, I had worked my heart up to a high enough pulse rate that it was skipping beats quite often. This too, unfortunately, is now commonplace for me.

I have to say, though, that the yard looked fantastic when it was done. The leaves that I had blown away to the flower beds were neatly tucked behind a line of quartz rocks and the green to brown grass was exposed like organic carpeting. Having had a “before” picture in my mind for the past 3 weeks, I was pleased and proud of the result of 3 hours of manual labor.

This morning, after a night of wind and a sprinkle of rain, I awoke to find that there were leaves all over the yard again, only not nearly as many as before. Who knew that my work was like a mandala made of sand, whose transitory beauty is obliterated when it is completed to show the temporary nature of life?

Categories: autumn leaves yard+maintenance mindfulness fatigue