Autumnal Writer's Block

My apologies for a temporary drought in writing. I have been busy mourning the loss of New Orleans, the loss of an uncle, the end of my visit to Europe, and my inability to get motivated for anything of much significance of late. I planned to enjoy the recent Pride Parade in Durham, but found that my enthusiasm was dimmed by all of the events going on in the world.

(Left and below: NC Pride Parade 2005 just before kick-off. Marchers and floats prepare about half-an-hour before the departure of the parade. Click on an image to enlarge it.)


Categories: writer's+block depression NC+Pride photography HIV/AIDS LGBTQ




















I was able to film the parade for my movie, but even that has become a difficult burden for me rather than a point of pride. I have logged in the details of all my tapes, and am on hold until I hear from the editors on what is needed next. Meanwhile, they are busy working on the release of their own film. One bit of encouraging news: I was told that my interview for their film, done in New Orleans in January, 2005, had been combined with music for their film and that it was "VERY powerful". I guess that is a good sign that I will play a role in the final film in some way.

Instead of writing in the past month, I have been working to try to keep my house in shape (failing miserably), and have found that typical autumn chores for the yard have begun to crop up. The hurricanes that struck the Gulf have caused me to volunteer some time to a local charity and I have been working from time to time with them. My laundry is piling high, my dust-bunnies are growing, and I am sleeping until noon. I need to call my doctor and get in to have my blood-work repeated, but am not excited about potentially adding the burden of bad health news to my current state of mind.

Yes, it is depression. I find myself spinning in place rather than making any progress toward any particular goals. I am seeing my shrink and dealing with my emotions as much as I can, but there has been a lot to stir my soul from its bottom and bring up the murky depths that I thought I had settled out. Family, extended-family, illness, death, significant change in status of a project….all of these events have worked me up within myself.

Today, though, I compiled another submission to "Other Voices Poetry International" with a French friend of mine, honing his hilarious and very individually styled biography for the site. He has written thirteen erotic haikus in French that I have translated into English, respecting as many rules of haiku as possible despite the move from one language to another. There is also a tongue-in-cheek humor that the author brings to his work. I look forward to helping him bring his poetry to an English speaking community.

I received two requests last week for interviews about my life. Perhaps by reviewing what I have managed to do, such as survive this illness for so long, I will find a ray of light to burst through this dark spirit. Please bear with me as I find my direction back. I know many things that I wish to write…and in time, they will find their way here.